Bye Bye American Pie - 2

"Time flies, I can't they can"

This silly expression was up for something, we had to punctuate when preparing for the b-school entrance. Never understood its meaninng then, not pretending that I do now. But, somehow it looks more and more meaningful to me.
Have been in and out US of A, for better part of 5 years. The last time I went back for "good" was two and a half years back. But, the "good" period lasted only for 6 months and had a one month trip to US included. Lets see how long this one lasts.

Going back in time, the introduction to US of A, started with the reading of "Inscrutable Americans". It was a nice, well researched book with wry humor. Even though, written good 20 years back, it still holds true in several aspects.

So, in this stint. I have earned some gray strands, a lot of adventurous memories and a PHD in indolence. Given a choice, I wouldn't like to replace much of it, but I definitely look forward to my next stint as my heart is craving for change.

I don't have much to say, right now. But, I am sure there will be a lot, as soon as I reach my motherland. I am used to a state of bliss and have fallen into a comfortable routine and will be jolted to reality as soon as I hit home base.

Till that time, friends keep reading.

Straight from the heart - Sympathy

Caution : This is first in the series of my writings, where humor will not be the central theme. But, this series is based on some events which I have witnessed in my life and they have been strong enough to jolt me and force me to recalibrate my set of values & Beliefs.

Location & Time - Somewhere in front of a Mall, in a busy Metro city, Year - 2004

Scene 1 -

It was one of those hot summer evenings in Northern India, when the Sun refuses to say quits, and the hot winds keep scorching the skin, well into the evening hours. However, I was not bothered by all this and was sitting under a tree waiting for my friend, who was going to join me for a round of Cold Beer and some Tet a Tet. Even the thought Beer was enough to take off the discomfort caused by sweat and dust. Feeling a little bit hungry and to looking for ways to pass some time, I strolled to the nearby McDonald and bought a Veg Pizza McPuff and started nibbling at it. Halfway through my cheese filled treat, I noticed a child of around 3-4 years, staring at me intently. After some hesitation he came near me and starting begging for money. Desensitized by several Magazine articles and movies, which depict children being forced into begging by emaciating/maiming them, I tried to shoo away the child and nonchalantly kept on biting the Hot Cheese Puff. Unlike his older siblings, who would have lost interest in me immediately and started looking for a softer/less emotionally matured target, this child kept on kept on looking at me for better part of 5 minutes, till I finished my Puff. Unperturbed, I got up threw the empty McDonald Wrapper on the ground and started walking away, scanning the scenery for some eye tonic in the form of Delhi Gals. As I looked behind to confirm that I hadn't left anything behind. I saw that little child was kneeling on the ground, holding the wrapper in his small hands and trying to scrape the crumbs sticking behind. As our eyes met, he got startled and shrunk a bit as if afraid. I on the other hand found myself fixated in one place unable to move or say anything. Within the next few seconds my mind was racing and a medley of emotions - guilt, anger at myself, pity, helplessness filled my heart.


Scene 2 -

Next thing was,I found myself standing at the McDonald takeaway counter and asked for a Veggie Surprise Burger, which I found would be sufficient for the little guy, who was smiling an innocent smile in anticipation of the food. I returned his shy smile and picked up the nicely wrapped warm bun and small ketchup pouch and handed it over to him. I turned back to clear the bill and found the attendant giving me a queer look. As I was paid the bill, through the corner of my eye, I noticed another child, around 8 years old, walked over with a haughty gait and in a single swing snatched away the burger from the younger one. I hurriedly finished of the transaction and quickly walked to the bully to recover the burger.
Filled with anger, I sternly held him by his hand and took back the burger. He was also eyeing me back angrily with his street hardened eyes but unable to do anything about it. As I glanced around for the younger child, the reality sank in. I was standing in an small ocean of children, all looking at me with anticipation, some of them wearing a pleading look and other scornfully looking at me. I found the younger child standing behind them. I wanted to end all this, so I quickly walked to him and gave him back the burger. Unlike the first time, he was very hesitant to take the burger from me. I noticed that the bully was standing just two paces behind me, looking at the younger child with as fiery eyes as a 10 year old can manage. I told the younger child not to be afraid and eat the burger. But, he simply was shaking with fear and afraid of the consequences, he wasn't even making any effort to unwrap the burger. I repeated my assurance to the child, but still he was too afraid to move. As I was figuring out what to do, there appeared a girl of around 8 years on the scene. The younger child voluntarily extended the burger to her, as if he was holding a ball of fire. Apprehensive that she also might be a bully, I asked her to return it. But, the younger child told me slowly that this girl was her sister. After she started feeding the burger to the younger child and eating some of it herself, I felt relieved and left the scene.


Scene - 3

My friend arrived soon after, and we both walked into a nearby posh watering hole to quench our thirsts by Chilled pints of Corona. Somehow, all the debate about smoothness of Corona over other Lagers was not able to remove the thoughts of the earlier episode from my mind. Halfway into some meaningless but interesting conversation, my friend inquired why I was appearing distant. I quickly brushed aside his thought and made conscious effort to focus on the Frosted tumbler filled with Golden-Amber colored manna. But, still I wasn't able to remove myself mentally from the sequence of events that occurred earlier in the evening. Even as I bade goodbye to my friend and rode my bike to my den, I kept on thinking- What would the bully do to the child? Did I do the right thing by intervening in their social hierarchy or did I end up making the matter worse? Should I have gone ahead and bought all those 10-12 children some food or would it have promoted this behavior even more and in turn would have worsened the problem?
As a third person, if someone would have come to me with all these questions, I would have definitely told him that he shouldn't have bought the young child any food in the first place. But, when faced with such situations where a child, who doesn't understand the dynamics of world and for whom overwhelming hunger drives most of actions, I guess, an undiscovered chunk in our heart comes to fore and makes us act in a way which would even surprise us at times.

U know when Indians have been in the area for too Long when...

Living in Bay area where every other person is an IT professional or an Indian, or belongs to an intersection of both, I started noticing the subtle changes in the Stratosphere around me. From the Sugarcane juice/Golgappa stall in a thriving market complex, to the bawling kids in the poshest of restaurants, gentlemen we surely make our mark and don't believe in keeping it subtle.
Anyways you definitely know we Indians feel at home -

1 - When local Costco Supermart starts selling Haldiram Snacks, Rotis, Ready to eat currries and several brands of basmati rice.
2 - When your neighbourhood is as well lit as Christmas during Diwali season and your neighbour mesmerized by diwali lights starts asking if Indians celebrate Christmas early?
3 - When there are several local teams and cricket tournaments held and websites are made to track. Hmm... nice mix of cricket and Tech.
4 - When in a plush upmarket residential community. You find the Property manager mentions "Weekly Indian Movie screening" as one of the Key differentiators.
5 - When Ustad Zakir Hussain settles down in Bay Area; claiming the area makes his creative juices flow. Wonder, how he managed to keep it alive back home.
6 - When Raj Abhyankar (No, not at all related to Lucknow University MMS Kand), stands for Local Mayoral post election and almost wins it. ***Updates*** - Another Asian across Himalayas snatched the seat from him.
7 - When at the local temple folks bring their automobiles to crush lemons by the tires and break the coconut to celebrate the buy.

8 - When at the same temple, prior to entering the prayer hall you see vast amount of footwear strewn around in a pattern which most believe can only be created by a stampede. Everybody gets to play "Find your shoes" and "Mix and Match" for free once the Aarti gets over. This all happens despite the large shoes racks placed next to entrance. The only warning that seems to be partially effective is the one displayed.
9 - When folks go to local supermarket store and as a matter of fact, ask the surprised store clerk where are Curry leaves, Fenugreek, Jaggery, Cinnamon and Cumin powder?
10 - When people crib about the non availability of Veggie Dishes in the continental dinner menu.
11 - When the most popular dishes in a fusion Thai restaurant is Roti Prata and Indian Mei Gurang. Now Indian Mei Gurang... never heard of this one in India, anyone?
12 - And lastly, when you see nervously smiling firangs in expensive black suits and their spouses in Armani cocktail dresses gingerly squatting for a traditional South Indian Wedding reception meal. All wearing a brave expression on their faces, already turned red by various delicious and extremely hot curries and trying real hard to tackle the mounds of rice using their fingers as silver wares. This one totally reminds me of the first time I tried to handle tofu with Chopsticks and ended up in transforming the "Fried Tofu" into "Flying Tofu".

Carbuyers guide - 2

Off late, I was talking to one of my friends about general catch all. The kind of phone calls that you should make periodically, to make sure they know your last name in case you need some dough or a recommendation on your Linked in.

Well, thats not the point.The point is during the course of discussion, she casually mentioned that her first car was Audi... Audi as in AUDI... The thoroughbred German Steed... which commands top moolah even in recession times. my retinas widened further when in the same breath she mentioned as she required a "small car" so she settled for A U D I... Barely able to hold back the feelings of Awe n excitement.... I truncated the call citing some real bad reasons...
But, even as I cut the call on my blackberry (free with ATT connection) and looking down at my 8 year old trustworthy Altima (I live on 2nd floor u c), I couldn't help thinking of how this buying behavior didn't fit in with my earlier research article.

I spent some time in deep thought and enlightenment dawned upon me the next morning when I was gulping down pancakes with dollops of butter. So, If you are still with me, please read on...

We Indians, Sir have deeply ingrained sense of social hierarchy. Consciously or unconsciously we apply it to most of the aspects of our life. Be it village Sarpanch buying the first Tractor in a village or the reverence for the Politicians with Royal heritage. We will keep on yearning for the objects of desire

Some time back, Indian media made a great fuss about a "Rajmata" who died at a ripe age in a foreign land. Did I get my Civics wrong (...ahan... Not the car but the woeful subject in High School), didn't the titles get abolished with cessation of princely states. But, still the "Rajmata" title was plastered all over the internet news channels as if she still was ruling India.

I remember the last time international media was in a similar hysteria when "Princess" Diana went heavenwards at 200 mph piloted by a drunk Driver cum bodyguard cum possible pass time lover.Perhaps the Indian media was not mature enough at that point of time to ask such intelligent questions to common man. Eg - To an uninterested road side peanut vendor... "Jab Diana ki jaan ja rahi thi to aapko kaisa lag raha tha ?" and the surprised Interviwee blinded by the instant flash of limelight blabbers some similar to Ms North Carolina's answer(Answer).

Well, we still are a model community, as only the studious and the sincere of the lot are able to make through the siphon of Hyper Darwinian Visa selection process to reach Uncle Sam's Park. But only, till the time the Second Generation ripens and starts shaming even the inhabitants of Oz with their antics.

We can be sure there till then Audis, Beamers (Not the Cricket one, but the one with a price tag similar to that of an IPL team), Mercs (My personal fav...:)....) will be the cherished possessions of the hard working and non playing folks.

Delhi -6 aka The Escapades of Kala Bandar

All right folks, I never did any movie reviews. B'coz I didn't feel they were worth my time. But, continuosly facing the onslaught of crappy stuff in the name of creativity has got my goat and I am going to break this pratigya of mine.

Yesterday, I went to watch this movie known as "Delhi 6", throughout the movie I was wondering what the Hell has title got to do with the movie. The beginning of the movie looks like a youtube videoresponse to "Slumdog Millionaire" pointing out everything that is happening(or better as it should be happening). The communal harmony tone was blown through a trumpet that even a deaf(or in politically correct terms - audio challenged or still better socially vogue - Aurically differently abled) person can't ignore. The lead actress(Sonal Kapoor-D/o the great Simian hirsuite Anil Kapoor) is nothing better than the mannequin who compensates lack of acting with a pasty smile and timbuktoos between modern and traditional outfits, both ways equally boring. The protagonist/narrator(Abhishek Bachchan - S/o Big B) wore his copy righted sulking expression and danced in a way, which makes me feel that a genetic test might reveal that he has inherited something from Not so Big- D(Dharam Pa Ji)....Gosh, did his birth day by any chance co-incide with the release of Sholay.... The Ramleela actors along with other side kicks were the real gamers who stole the show with their honesty and antics.

But, Ladies and gentlemen hold your breath for the lead actor, who although not present physically, was the lead in the movie. May I present the much loved and hated - Kala Bandar(Out of sheer respect, lets call him KB ji). Be it the beginning of the movie when the Young-B was travelling from Big Apple to Matrabhoomi or be it the Climax in which he was dying wearing the suit of KB ji), be it when Young B-was saving the lady from the lech/photographer/Lala's Wive's paramour or the inflaming of communal tension. His presence(or absence) was always felt and appreciated for its influence on making the otherwise "boring to death" storyline almost bearable. Hats off to KB ji for his honorary yet valuable contribution to the movie.

But, his commanding presence(and also strong contendership for the Academy) still does not remove the pain of spending $32.75(10.50*2,Yes, I have to buy 2 tickets now+11.75 on Cola+Corn). The only scene I loved was the one in which Young B was being beaten black and blue and then shot by Mamdu(The Halwai cum Communal harmony Icon turned hardliner cum Ramleela Organiser turned attempted murder convict-Man they must have really paid big to the guy for donning so many caps). The storyline, was so hopeless that the even the casual presence(and permanent presence of his framed Pic) of Big B couldn't save it. Believe me, after wasting money on several movies of similar "Creative" movies I seriously am feeling the need to approach BBB (US equivalent of consumer forum) to find out the refund process and if any punitive damages can be awarded to prevent the makers from repating such mistakes.

Wam Bam Thank you Ma'am

I didn't want to start my India blogging on this note, but can't help. The feelings are mixed and I guess I should vent them out lest they become stale and die out.

Yesterday, yet another day of serial blasts in Delhi. These blasts were termed as something caused by "Home Grown" devices and agencies. For most of us it the effect of this news was same as that of another flick releasing in Bollywood. The Politicians were quick to respond and started baking their political bread in funeral pyres, the news channels were quicker, they tried to project every rumor as the "Fact" based report. But, if the news channels could report the finding of "Ravana's Mummy" and "Visualisation of Lord Rama" then anything is possible for them.

Life keeps moving on for all of us, its not that it doesn't hurt now, but with so much of catastrophes happening in all directions, it becomes just one of the happenings and we become desensitized to the pain. The floods in Assam/Bihar, the relegious clashes in Orissa, the venomous speech in Maharashtra, the usage of Molotov cocktails in Kashmir, the Naxalites in Andhra, Jharkhand and Bihar and I am sure similar number of unrests would have been missed because they could not be reported.

Contrast this with the 9/11 of US. Since then, US has tightened the noose around the forces which believe that they can treat the human life frivolously. Russia guards its peace aggressively. UK deals with terror with an iron hand. Even Saudi Arabia has a strong stand against such powers.

Then why do we always act like sitting ducks. The criminals who attacked parliament who should have been summarily executed are still waiting to be pardoned. Similar cases will be pending against hundreds of thousands of other people responsible for such dastardly acts.

Instead of issuing fiery statements against people/agencies. Is there someone who will be able to take some action and translate the verbal venom in blood and sinew and let the other party know that when it hurts it hurts bad.

Seems, that we will have to take a decision and take it fast before these cowards become even more capable and ruin many other innocent lives.

Bye Bye American Pie... Part 1

Sitting on the Hong Kong airport, with body clock unsure of the time zone, looking like a vagabond after 12 hours of being straight jacketed in a seat, oogling at a nicely dressed up Indian girl sitting across me, I have just one thing in mind - How the Hell do these girls manage to look so fresh and still enticing after such an ordeal which has left me in such a shape, that judging by appearance only a pet dog would like to come near to me. Anyways, she is giving me those questioning looks which normally girls living abroad give, otherwise the Indian girls just start smirking(the gud ones)and feigning an angry expression if they see any univited interest approaching them via any media visual ones inclusive. Gosh, is it her or the combined effect of vodka peg, fatigue and foggy glasses which are creating this hallucination.

Enough digression, lets come to the point - the day I arrived in US I was very excited and unsure of many things, but going back after 1.5 years I have a smile of satisfaction glued to my face. As I look back I see 18 months of of unadulterated adventure sports, driving fabulous cars on one of the best freeways, forging some excellent and long lasting bonds of friendship with some very special folks which ever will walk this earth, partying at some of the most lively pubs, gambling at the world's best casinos, eating the cuisines I would have never tried in India(... specially Mediterranean ones@ Kan Zeman...wink wink ;)...), riding the first roller coaster of my life in real and literal sense and of course meeting my childhood hero Mickey Mouse... (See Mom, I told you he ain't a cartoon... but a real life hero...)
Hearty thanks to all the guys for making my stay comfortable and enjoyable... I really look forward to meeting all of you sometime.

I will definitely keep on puring other parts of this series, so folks do keep on visiting for more.

Till then, Dasvidanya.